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Debbie Smith
Dallas, TX

“…Looking for God's direction”

Two years ago, as my empty nest was well under way, I pulled out every test I had taken and any training or counseling discoveries that I had in document form - all of the things that I had worked through in my walk of 34 years with the Lord. I was trying to get a clearer picture of who I was and what I wanted to pursue in ministry in this second half of my life.

I had struggled for many years with keeping ministry more under my control than God’s control. I had gotten stuck, and I didn't know how to get unstuck. I knew what my gifts were and I knew God wanted to use me. I loved doing ministry, but a lack of confidence made it hard for me to completely let go of control of whatever ministry I was involved in.  I was not fully living and doing what God had for me.  A year and a half ago, I was given the opportunity to go through the Listen to My Life process. Listen to My Life was instrumental in opening my eyes to my sin in not believing God could work through me, as me.  I am now able to stop myself from saying “no” when I feel like the challenge seems too big for me.  I know that it is Christ in me who does the work and it has been so freeing to let go of my control. It is wonderfully freeing to only carry the things that Christ has given me to carry and to let go of what He has not asked of me.

The greatest insight for me was that it was not about me. It was and is and shall always be about Christ. I just need to be ready, willing and able and say, “Yes, Lord.” The day I said, "Yes Lord", I began to change how I looked at everything. It changed how I looked at myself, how I looked at others, how I looked at my time, how I looked at my abilities, and how I looked at my disabilities.