It is time.
It is time to write again.
It is time to blog again.
It is time to live free.
It is time to adventure again.
It is time.
The past two years have been the hardest two years of my life so far. On the flip side, they have also been two of the best years. For some reason, the saying that "out of hardship comes the greatest growth" has proved true.
The hardest parts of the past two years have paved the way for great growth...but it is all inside. On the outside, I look and sound much like the same person - but I know that I am a softer version of myself. I have come to a place of rest for this present time period. It is enough for now to pop my head above the waters, take a deep breath, and reflect on the ways God has been with me through thick and thin.
Slowly, surely, God is working in me. Though my hands still desire to take control, God is asking me to come instead with open hands. Though I have had a shadowed past, God is asking me to venture back through doors of hurt into a land of healing as He holds my hand.
My mom was my instructor when I learned to fly. Sometimes she would put me under a hood (a 12-18″ brim) that would constrict my view of everything but the instruments directly in front of me. As I closed my eyes, she’d put the airplane in an odd position and say “GO!” I then would right the plane using only the instruments. Much of my journey with God is like this. I must trust the instruments He has placed in front of me – His Word, my hands, my talents. Every time something goes wonky and I feel off kilter and can’t see anything outside of my immediate view of the instrument panel, it is another opportunity to trust. Another opportunity to prove that He is who He says He is, He can do what He says He can do, and that I can do all things through Christ. Even when it feels like I am alone in the cockpit, the truth is that He is sitting right next to me.
Over the past two years, I have made the intentional decision to dive deep into my story. It has been a hard, tear-filled journey. I can’t say that I am on the other side, and unfortunately, I don’t think I will ever be. But the good news is that every time I descend into the dark cave of memories of what I have experienced and who I have considered myself to be, I somehow come up better than when I went in.
Questions for Reflection:
“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” Isaiah 45:3 (NIV)
Lord, when my view is constricted, help me to trust what you have placed in front of me. Help me to dive deep into my story so that I may know more fully that you are the Lord and discover your treasures of darkness and riches stored in secret places.
Recommended Resources Related to this Blog:
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard